Ode to College

In the first year
I learned names
Of people, places and things;
Of the functionality of fancy words.

In the second year
I learned
The fatuity of that ‘F’ word;
That friends come and leave your soul darker;
That family is thinner than blood;
That the firsts will finish and be forgotten.

In the third year
I learned
The sincerity of that ‘F’ word;
That friend is all you need;
That family of thickest blood
Will revitalize the things you’ve lost;
That forgiveness is a favor for those you’ve forgotten.



A summary in verse form of my three years in college as a young woman, a daughter/sister/cousin/niece, an English major and a bit of a sociopath.


Convocation 2015 (I Hate Taking Pictures)

Well, I did it. Sort of.

I say “sort of” because of the ceremonious-ness of today’s convocation. It wasn’t the real thing and yet it was. Which was why I didn’t want to go in the first place, it was just a thing that would happen in passing and that’s that. But in a way, I was glad to be there. There was a general sense of excitement when you saw everyone dressed up in short dresses, long dresses, salwar kameez, and sarees. That should clue you in to the fact that I have just done three years of English Honours in Delhi, in one of the most prestigious institutions in India called St. Stephen’s College.

I hated, HATED where I was sitting because I sat next to someone so completely exasperated at our nuisance of a Principal that every single word he said made her scoff and gag and have two-meters ‘rolling-eye’ conversations with her friend. The thing is, her reaction was incredibly justified. When someone insolent speaks for over an hour, anyone can, will and should expect such behavior. But I felt it was the formality of the situation and general manners that she shouldn’t have been such an annoying sitting partner. It was so bad that literally the highlight of my day was switching seats after we’d gotten our degrees as somehow the people in front lost theirs. It could have been that the angry ghosts of students past had occupied their seats.

Our chief guest was Arvind Kejriwal, chief minister of Delhi a-la the 2015 elections.

Please refer to the featured image of Kejriwal handing me my degree. My brother said, “You know there’s always that one stereotypically buff woman? That was you, hulking over Kejriwal.” Ha. Ha.

All I could think of as he stepped on the podium was the incessant chanting of his supporters around the elections: Paanch Saal Kejriwal (Five Years Kejriwal). It really took me back to a time when my room mate and I went out to eat some heavenly pesto pasta in the evening to celebrate her birthday and an abysmal, really tiny crowd formed right outside the restaurant chanting and making generally annoying sounds.

I can’t believe how many synonyms of ‘annoying’ I’ve used so far.

Everything afterwards was a messy, hot blur of an afternoon filled with too many bodies to count. My social anxiety didn’t exactly kick in but I was ready to GTFO. All I wanted and needed was water. Seriously, they would parade these nice bottles of water being circulated among the professors onstage and we were left to look on with puppy dog eyes of thirst and desperation. And we had to sit like this for 2 hours.

We didn’t stay for lunch though my brother ate his because he had work right after. And my dad really pissed me off by complaining that he didn’t get any food despite the million times I told him to eat.

Apart from these little tidbits, I remembered most vividly the pictures that were being taken. We were probably the earliest arriving family which obviously (rolling mine eyes) meant that we had to take a bunch of pictures of me in my gown. And I hated every second of it. I’m one of those people that thinks in the moment that the pictures will turn out alright. But no. I’m not at all photogenic. I’ll stick to reality thank you.

_IGP2870That’s my go-to face. You know, like how Miley’s a year ago was that alien tongue of hers. Mine’s pursed lips and big eyes.


This was probably the coolest shot taken. Damn, I love capes. If someone out there were to give me the fabric to sew a luxurious cape, I would wear that shit for the whole of winter and pose around the house like Jon Snow.


The only good-ish portrait of me.


Blurriest Photo of 2015

And those are photographers outside the gates of college. There’s one thing any of you unfamiliar with St. Stephen’s College need to understand and it’s that our college never ceases to be out of the news. Let’s just say everyone wants to know what a short, white-haired gremlin of a man, inconspicuously roaming around the halls looking for unnecessary trouble is up to next.

So that was my day. How was yours?


Dear Universe #1 (TV Shows & Sticky Fingers)

Dear Universe,

We’re smack in the middle of April 2015 now and I’m left with two more weeks of regular classes before graduation. I don’t know how to feel about it. I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy my experience at college but then again I can’t say that I did. I’m perpetually in the meh zone. But here’s a bunch of things I’d like to address:

Dear Brain,

Why don’t you ever want to read anymore? It’s simple and it requires absolutely no effort. Just slide your eyes left to right, left to right. I hope this is an easy case of Post-College Stress Disorder. Get back into it, will ya?

Sincerely, Your Heart.

Dear Ears,

Get into something good. Go out there and explore new music, stop being a lazy ass and relying on TV shows. TV is not everything. The Vampire Diaries has a few good gems but other than that, The Walking Dead plays nothing but intense you’re-about-to-be-eaten-alive instrumentals, The 100 doesn’t really have any music, Once Upon A Time plays that whimsical fairy tale shit, Sleepy Hollow only has its opening and closing credits, Bones has given up on that 5 seasons ago, The Big Bang Theory is still playing the full-length version of that annoying nerd intro, Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. plays the same superhero music as in Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-Man, and any other future ‘-Man’ movies. Basically, just wait patiently for the next season of Nevermind The Buzzcocks.

Or quit being a snob.

Sincerely, your music-deprived self.

Dear Sticky Fingers,

Apparently, I meant to say Dear Sticky Fingaz

WHY oh why did you unlike that post you just accidentally liked on Facebook? Now she will know. Now she will know forever…

Sincerely, Online Social Etiquette.

Dear Breakfast Foods,

Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food? I had to have it twice today.

Sincerely, my stomach that wants to devour you.

I guess those are the things I wanted to address for the past week, Universe. Oh, and here’s a parting gift:

Sincerely, an anxiously awaiting near-graduate.


Of fish and other things


I have ten minutes before class so I’m going to make this a quick and brief one.

First of all, I did not realize until I created this blog that the url can be misread as “The Year of Fish”. Let me clarify that I did not intend at all to mislead all ye fish lovers out there by expecting, finally, a blog dedicated entirely to bass, trout and salmon. I would like to say also that I am not a fish hater. And if the day comes when I do actually go fishing, I will make sure that I record that spectacular event and blog about it. That is a promise that I intend to keep. Though, I strongly suggest you not mark it out on your calendar.

Secondly, I would like to say WELCOME TO MY WORLD.

I wanted to keep the About page as short and sweet as possible so if you’re looking to know what kind of blog this is, that will probably be of no help whatsoever. So here goes.

Five minutes left.

Hi. Hello. Whaddup. My name is Esther and I will be a college graduate in a month. How time flies. I’m not entirely new to the WordPress community. In fact, I have a blog out there somewhere about music and other things. ironically enough, the most read post on that blog surrounds my roughly 6-month experience with horrible, gargantuan boils that erupted violently and erratically across my scalp and face. I can say now that I am boil-free.


Well, that failed fast.

Here I am, it is a cloudy and very lonely Saturday evening here at home. What can I say? I ran out of time.

I am an individual that enjoys learning, however, I very strongly detest being taught. I like discovering things on my own, and sure it may seem like I’m gloating at times but what can you say really when you ace solving categorical propositions all by your goddamn self? Yes, I have a test on categorical propositions on Monday.

I love creating art and music and writing and videos. As a snippet into my world, I will now prove to you that I’m not a maniac claiming a bunch of random and disconnected things. Here, watch:


These are two paintings I did of Jennifer Connelly in poster colors because, why not have two Jennifers?

Electric Angel 2

A self-portrait done on Paint Tool Sai.


Some photography. That black goo coming out of my mouth is actually diluted black acrylic paint. Let me tell you boys and girls, do not ingest that shit…or put it in your mouth to begin with.


Another photograph highlighting hair. Basically, if you want to be photographed by me, you’ll need your best Willow Smith attitude, a lock of handsome hair and endure neck cramps the next day.

nietzschean supermen

A masterpiece of photo-manipulation I made because Nietzsche knew what he was talking about.


Me in a moustache. Clearly that’s what you do in your first semester of college.


Me in a moustache and a unibrow with red laserbeams shooting out of my pupils.


Me in a moustache, unibrow, red laserbeams, obliterating a green (green?) sea of little stickmen.

A cover of Vampire Money.

Now that I feel like an immense dork, I shall end this post. Please follow and favorite this post or any future posts if you’re enjoying your experience. And leave a comment! Seriously people, leave a comment. Say hi or something.